When I came up with this idea to provide a parting thought at the end of each class, I would ask friends and past colleagues if they had any pieces of wisdom from their career they thought I should share. Having coffee with Jill Walker, a PwC parter, she shared her advice which became the parting thought for my 6th lecture:
“Feedback is a gift, treat it as such. Even if you disagree, take into consideration the perceptions. “
Feedback has evolved from when I started work. I felt I received a significant amount of feedback early in my career, but it was often delivered in a pretty harsh manner. Though I would never want that delivery style to come back, I learned and developed significantly. I feel now the pendulum has swung too far the other way where if the feedback is not “great job”, followed by a triple explanation point the feedback receiver is devastated.
On a side note, I never use explanation points. When I was coming up through the ranks the number of explanation points following feedback was the level of annoyance / anger the supervisor was feeling. I found them harsh and have never been able to use them or switch it in my mind to be a positive. In today’s world, if I was angry enough to use an explanation point I would discuss it with the person through some clarifying questions and never put it in writing.
Each year leading up to the end of my time at PwC I did find it sad that I gave less feedback each year. I was faced with a number of experiences where those I was providing feedback would get so upset and defensive, I wished I would not have bothered. Though I felt I was doing this in a constructive manner, it regularly seemed like I was the problem, not providing the feedback appropriately or not creating the right environment for the person to succeed and have to have been given the feedback I gave.
I share with my students that it was sad I was not providing feedback to people who likely needed it. To be successful you need to be coached and in many instances this needs to be done through feedback on suboptimal performance. I ask my students to seek out feedback as it is a gift and take it well. I share that I did not agree with all the feedback I received and I likely did not always give the right feedback. You do not have to agree with it, but you should take it in and at the very least acknowledge that there likely is a perception there to consider.
